From the recording POOPER SCOOPER

My signature song. A history lesson for the uninitiated. A chance to go to the bathroom for the rest of you folks.

Lyrics

I was just a young boy when I first discovered rum
My daddy he was drinkin' it, he knew I wanted some
He slurred a couple words and asked, "Boy, why you look so glum?"
I pointed at his glass and with one taste I fell in love

Well, a couple years had passed before I drank up once again
I spit out all the brandy, but I didn't mind the gin
I fought a couple battles, yes, the vodka helped me win
But it had to be the whiskey when I felt my life begin

I'm a man upon a mission and I'm here to tell you all
I like my women crazy and I love my alcohol
I've got no true ambition, I was born to have a ball
Yes, I've been crashing parties since the day I learned to crawl

I grew up fast, I grew up well, I grew up really tall
I threw up on my classmates when I puked in study hall
I didn't mind my teachers, they were kind to make the call
To tell my Mom and Dad that "With your son, my life is never dull."

I got bored with education, I was sleepin' like a log
I smoked up so much dope, I thought my body was a bong
And I dropped a lot of acid, yes, my mind was in a fog
But it had to be the booze that put me right where I belong

I'm a man upon a mission and I'm here to tell you all
I like my women crazy and I love my alcohol
I've got no true ambition, I was born to have a ball
Yes, I've been crashing parties since the day I learned to crawl

Well, I tried to go to college, but it seemed a little weird
To be sittin' in a classroom when the local bar was near
I tried to find a reason why the good lord put me here
I think my prayers were answered with a big, fat belly full of beer

Then I hit my twenties roarin', I was drinkin' like a slob
I held my liquor well, but I could never hold a job
And girls they tried to kill me, and my heart they've tried to rob
But I'm always left here standin', makin' friends with a barroom mob

I'm a man upon a mission and I'm here to tell you all
I like my women crazy and I love my alcohol
I've got no true ambition, I was born to have a ball
Yes, I've been crashing parties since the day I learned to crawl

I've been shackled up in handcuffs, I've been hassled by the law
I've been pushed around by bullies who tried to break my jaw
I've been slapped around by women for lookin' down their bra
But it had to be the booze, that's indeed been my biggest brawl

I've been 86'd from parties, I've been kicked out of saloons
I've been wasted in the desert, I've been passed out in the dunes
I've been howlin' with the coyotes, yeah, listen to me croon
I'm the drunken midnight wolf they call......the Dog of the Moon



Copyright 2001 Dog of the Moon