1. Beer Goggles


Well, I woke up drunk, I was ready for the day,
Little did I know there’d be hell to pay
My girlfriend decided she was running away
Along with my wallet and my rusty Chevrolet Good riddance, ya old bag
So I made it to my job in the state I was in
The boss said, “Sorry, son, but you’re late again.”
I told him the story and he got frustrated
He said I was just a drunk and I was terminated Fuckin Asshole!
I went to the bar so I could down a few brews
I was mighty lonesome, sad and confused
The bartender said, “I’m gonna have to refuse ya,
Cuz you’re already drunk and you’re just a loser.” Fuckin Jackass!
So I walked to the store and wiped away my tears
I had enough money for a couple of beers
I went into the alley so I could have a quick drink
And then I heard a voice and it started to sing….. Kinda sounded like Tom Waits
I went to find out where that song was comin from
And layin by the dumpster was a dirty old bum
He looked real cozy and he spoke with a smile
He said, “Beer’s the only way that I can live in style!”
So I took a big swig and then I started to see
What that old bum was tryin to say to me
And suddenly my burdens, they all drifted away
As the sun went down on that troublesome day

So me and that bum, we just kept on drinkin
Laughin and jokin and lots more singin
We made it through the night without a sign of them cops
Just enjoyin our barley, our yeast and our hops
The moon circled over and then it disappeared
As we finished up the last of that old mans beer
And there in the wee hours of the early mornin dawn
The birds started chirpin and singin our song

I figured it was time to say goodbye to my friend
The sun was comin up, it was almost day again
We gave each other hugs as he whispered in my ear
“Don’t forget to finish the rest of your beer!”
So I took the final swig and I was on my way
As I drifted into the light of a brighter day
I walked back home and headed for straight for the bed
I dozed off to sleep with that song in my head

It was late in the afternoon when I finally awoke
I needed a beer, but I was totally broke
My mind was messed up, my body was in hell
I started lookin round for somethin I could sell
But my house had been robbed and that made me pretty mad
Cuz someone in the night came and took all that I had
Things were lookin bad as if everything was wrong
And then I remembered the bum and his funny little song